心痛

有很多人说爱情是盲目的，如果理智就不是爱情了。但昨天有一个朋友点醒了我，他说虽然他需要爱情，但爱情不是他的全部。他不会太沉醉，不会因为只要有爱，什么问题都可以解决。我仔细想了想他的话，也不全然是错的。真正的爱情是应该为对方付出，而不计回报。只要他开心，你就会开心不是吗？但我做不到那样，也许在这一方面我会比较自私。我不能忍受对方不理睬我那种感觉。昨天当我一封一封的删除你的信息的时候，我的心里真得很痛，就好像一点一滴的删除着我们之间的回忆，但是短痛总好过长痛吧。。。。。。。。

life

no matter you are happy or not happy, life is still going on~
so be happy... then it is only worth...
because happy or not happy the day still have to pass ~
trying to understand it...and work it out~!! Jia You !

my feelings

you are no longer live in my heart already... that is what i feel right now

let go of u

Few weeks ago when I saw his photos in Friendster, I suddenly feel very strange to him…. Feel like he has changed a lot… not the one who staying in my memory already…though his smile n shadow still in my mind clearly.. time really can heals, I almost forget how he looks like, how he treat me badly, how he smell, but I won’t forget the memories between us…
we never been together before, but *u had gave me some sweet time … still remember that time u showed me your medal…. Really so sweet, even your friends also asked me is it we are together………………………but we are not of course... finally n totally let go of u~3 and half year already.. bye

forget about u

If one day I can remove your handphone number from my friends n family name list, that means I really can forget about u.. but now I still can't make it.. just let time to decide

to u~

Chances will be given for once only, once u missed it, there might not be another chance .. so you better grab it… maybe you don’t know I am mentioning about u… but yes, I am mentioning about u… chance already given to u… just see whether u can understand what I meant or not..

emotional

recently i so emo arh... arghhh, feel like wanna shout it out ar!!! no ones can sharing my problems

茅盾的心情

最近才有机会见会他，因为以前说要出来喝茶的时候就总是空口说白话。。每次见到他的时候，会有一种奇妙的感觉，不知怎么解释。。觉得他好像长大了，变得比之前成熟了，但又觉得他好像从来都没有变过~ 真矛盾~~！

St.John class

today morning we have a St.John first aid class… but the back door didn’t open, so I have to walk to front door there.. then I walk until half way… Sir saw me n fetch me go to school… wah, my Sir so good ..really!! haha… then when I go into d class, I met my seniors.. they still look good… glad to see them … miss them so much~

the thing that inside my heart

When you told me ‘nah, I dun miss u tat much’..my heart feel like broken again… actually I know you heart is not with me already… but knowing this is another thing, really can accept is another thing.. till now, I still miss you very much~ especially at night .. I think I m really a silly girl… because till now still cant forget u…. maybe I already put u in d deepest of my heart, for this moment, there might not be anyone can replace u…I knew I have to let go of u… even my friends also advised me … but….. am I really can do so?? I don’t know… let’s c, time will prove it…

my broken heart

Maybe b4 I really think about want to break up with u, but now when u said it out 1st, at that time I only realized my heart is pain… maybe I love u more than I expected already… or maybe its deeper than d sea… we just together for not so long only, but how come I so sad? Before that I told u I liked sunrise, because its give a hope to us… but now I don’t like sunrise, because every morning I woke up, then I realized how cruel is d reality… without u, time flow so slow, a strong feeling of loneliness in my heart… like my friend said, regret is worse, even worse compared to dying… sorry to say that, I am… but time will heal… but even though my heart is healed, in d deepest, there’s no ones can see…. There is still a scar there, that cannot be healed…my heart is like a fragile glass, once broken, it cannot be back d original one … no matter how hard u try… because its already not a perfectly heart… I thought your heart is with me, but don’t know since when, u already taken out from me…

break up with him

today he break up with me, I thought I wont cry out, but how come i still crying out, maybe I love him already more than he loves me... I cant see his face right now, so I really don't know whether he is sad or not... but I am really sad ... he is my 1st officially bf...

my seniors

Today I met back my St.John seniors…. And its make me think back of my form4 that time, I feel very good because can met them again… but I also feel sad ler, because we didn’t talk much like before…. And now I not close with them already….

relationship

Have been long time didn’t update my blog already…. Today I really feel very tired… from both mental n physical….I try hardly not to let go our relationship, but how come he can easily change his mind… why he always not believed in me, he seems lost confident to our relationship already…I really feel very upset because he also admit that he is losing his confident .. actually I really want to be together with him for very long time , but if he is really lost confidence with our relation, then there is no meaning for me 2 continue already

love

“I love you” this 3 words is hard to say it out…. But once I tell *u, that means I really meant that..

Unhappy day~

today i really feel unhappy... I think is because of the uncle that teaching me driving~ He always coming late but going back earlier... but I not even dare to tell him... ask him come earlier... I am useless ar... haizz

Life

Life is easier to be lose…. So we have to appreciate what we have……

April Fool

Long time didn’t updated my blog already…. Today is April’s fool… I didn’t fooled anyone because I have no idea what to fool them… but I fooled by few people.. but I am quite smart, so I knew there is just a fool… haha…. Afterward I felt like wanna fool them back, but when I called him, he heard I laughing at there, so he knews… so my mission had failed… haha…. But I did chat with him.. really long time didn’t with him already… feel a bit miss him, like old friends long time din c … I felt so happy because I heard his voice sound with happy tone…. That means he is not feeling sad … or maybe he is successfully hide his real feelings from me…. I just hope he will happy everyday…

Happy Day

Yesterday went out with 2 friends, one is my kai kor kor, and one more is someone that I know from internet de… I feel still okay with them, but I less talking because I not really have topic chat with them, haha~~ and I don’t know what to talk… actually outing with them that feelings quite enjoyable… about 5pm then I went back home liao, after I reached home, then we still got continue chatting by sms, feel not bad… haha….

my memory

Now I only realize until now I still cannot forget him, since form3 that time he already in my heart.. everytime I listened that song, the memory of us will automatically come to my mind .. no wonder I love that song so much… because d lyrics are meaningful.. just like my feelings towards him..

I am stupid~

Recently I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I always online whenever I am free… before that I won’t do so… but now just because of someone… he really makes me feel that I anytime also want to chat with him, but he also makes me feel that myself so useless… sigh… how come I became like that??!!!

Gathering ~~

Today I went out with my old friends, we went to times square…. Really long time didn’t meet with them already.. so a bit miss them… after I met up with them , then we decided to play bowling.. but after we reach there.. I and one of my friend don’t want to play, after that don’t know why they also following us … so in the end we cancelled this game already… then we went to da gei… but not having a lot of fun also, because we those game ‘eat’ money de.. I n my friend put 2 coins inside but that game machine still don’t have ‘respond’… that is why I said eat money one… then I asked my one of my friend accompany me to play ‘dance floor’…but I not really know how to play… luckily that time my other friends are not beside me… or not sure they laugh at me… haha…. After that we went to yam cha… our chatting voice so loud, until other customers also looking at us…. Haha…. Luckily the waiter didn’t scold us, otherwise we so ‘yu’…

ARH…..went out for almost whole day, now my shoulder so pain ar…. Maybe too stress…

Now I want to rest liao….

New started 2009

Today got a friend asked me to write a blog… because he said 2009 is new year, so should post some new things.. Yes, I agree with him, so just simply write something…

I like a guy recently…. For me, he is smart but not conceited.. I like to chat with him everyday… but he is not online everyday, so recently I also always on n off, because I am waiting him to on9… I feel I am so useless… I shouldn’t like him, because he is …..(secret), actually I never meet with him… that is why… but d way I knew him is very common…He is not leng zai but I just like him… maybe his studies is very well…and of course the important one is I got feel on him… but nowadays since he did a thing … that made me feel bad…. Because of that I hate him…(not really hate)…Just to say Don’t Like lorzz….. but if I view from his angle, not his fault also… but I Just don’t like…. Actually I should continue to like him or just 4get him? But now I feel I lost interesting toward him ady…

............

今天是二零零九年一月六日，很多人都说新的开始应该是美好的，但我却是活在痛苦中，我是从去年十二月十九号开始做工的，刚开始时我已经很不喜欢这份工，很想辞职但却得不到支持，妈妈因为经济不好而叫我继续做下去，那我只好遵从。这份工虽然表面上看起来很简单，但其实不竟然。每天都要面对三个坏人，而且我跟他们没话题可聊，所以当他们在counter谈天时，我都是站在前面serve顾客。而我最不满意的是我很讨厌这三个人，自己的东西不做却只会叫我做，可是我又不能不做。。我更讨厌的是有个八婆说会给我九个小时的工钱，所以我没出去吃饭，但最后她只给我八个小时的工钱而已！之后她还贱到说她早就说明给我听了，她明明就是骗我！但我能怎样？！！她总共骗了我十四天。还有更令人讨厌的是这份工公共假期是没有双倍的。。我也很讨厌他们的性格，在顾客走了过后就说在背后说他们！

我终于忍不住在昨天哭了出来，真的憋了很久，我真得很大压力和十分非常超级不喜欢这份工，但却得不到家人的支持与鼓励，他们还是叫我继续做。。其实我的痛苦不止这些，但我已经不知道该怎样形容了，其实这不是我第一次哭，只是上次我是偷偷的哭，我的家人并不知道。我也不想让他们知道。

我真得很想躲起来，让别人找不到我，那我就可以脱离这种痛苦了。我时常在想，妈妈什么时候才会谅解我的处境，说真的，她根本不知道我的痛苦，是没有人可以了解我的！有时真的觉得这个世上没有东西可以让我留念了，因为连最亲的人也不站在我的角度为我着想。难怪别人常说生与死就只是一念之差！

在打着这篇日记时，我已经不知道哭了多少次。。。。。心淡了~