first time

不知不觉在这里已经三个月了，从开始不认识你，直到sst family day的时候才有机会跟你接触。过后我们就慢慢开始熟络了。一开始我看见你耳朵戴耳环，所以还以为你是gay的，但你告诉我你不是。后来，我们还有两个人一起去看电影。一开始，我真的对你没意思的，纯粹只想有个朋友一起出去而已。后来也许是日久生情吧，我发觉我越来越喜欢跟你一起相处的时候。也许有很多第一次很是跟你吧，我人生第一次煲汤是煲给你喝，第一次煮糖水也是给你。虽然蛋治不是我第一次的杰作，但在沙巴我第一次做蛋治早餐也是想让你尝试。我知道你有女朋友，但你却告诉我你其实想跟她分手的，只是她不肯，而你又做不出，所以你告诉我你等她开口提出。我觉得你是对我有点好感的，因为这样我才一直放不下你。我真的真的曾经告诉过自己，不可以再这样下去！但第二天醒来过后，我却有一种很舍不得你的感觉，很强烈，强到我无法对你狠下心。我知道你并不想在大学里拍拖，而且你是名花有主了。不过你也曾经说过你对我是有好感的，哪怕只是很少很少。你也说过你会尝试对我好一点，那一个星期你真的对我比平常好很多，我告诉你我饿了，你还特地早一点带饼干给我吃。那一刻，我真的很感动！可是后来不知发生什么事，你对我好冷淡，差不多变成陌生人了。我不想事情演变成这样，就算你不喜欢我，也请你不要对我那样冷。因为此时此刻我真的很喜欢你，喜欢到我无法欺骗我自己，我对你的喜欢已经是满满了，满到我自己都无法负荷了。。。

Am I fall 4 u?

this few days I keep waiting for u to on9.. but I realized that u not on msn everyday.. so miss u at d moment~~

dropping of tears

I realized I still love u... what should I do? except everyday missing u, crying.. I can't even concentrate on other things..really painful..

I am still loving u

Started from 4th June 2010, I am alone… I made a decision to leave him… that time I really don’t know whether my decision was correct or not, but now I think maybe I had made the wrong decision. In these 2 days, I really miss him like crazy…I realized I still love him, but there is already no way to turn back.. maybe I got regret, but I still have to continue my pathway for my future… but one thing I am sure, I broke up with him NOT because I am no longer loving him, is just I use another way to love him n myself. But I will save him in my deepest heart.. I strongly believe that if we got fate, we will be together back in the future.. I hope I can celebrate your birthday with u in next year with girl friend status.. I love you and I miss you

been long time din update my blog because I'm kinda lazy..
but today there are many sad things happened to me.. I really feel very very sad and almost can't withstand with it.. but I really thanks to one of my friend, he accompanying me and chat with me in msn until 2am.. he is such a good friend... that night my eyes really cry until swollen already.. but I never tell all these to my family.. till the next day I'm not attending to school.. actually I am quite disappointed because he(my boy friend) don't even trust me...why?! I really did nothing wrong to u... I never betray him... but he rather trust his brother instead of him... I am wonder how his bro can knew my ex bf (a fellow that i regret together with), his brother said that I still haven't break up with my ex bf.. but that is not the truth... I really don't know who is the one that created a story and slander me..but the most sad thing is my bf doesn't want to listen to my explanation n wanted to break up with me.. I keep calling him, sms him try to explain to him. but he doesn't want to listen or answer any of my call.. this week I am really sad..I don't know how to prove to him that I really broke with that fellow long time already.. what can I do right now? I really have no ideas and nearly want to fed up.. can someone tell me what to do? T.T I really don't hope to lose him because I still love him.. I don't know we break up because of misunderstanding.. they might be someone don't want us to be together.. why u so easily trust people.. what can I do u only will trust me?

心痛

有很多人说爱情是盲目的，如果理智就不是爱情了。但昨天有一个朋友点醒了我，他说虽然他需要爱情，但爱情不是他的全部。他不会太沉醉，不会因为只要有爱，什么问题都可以解决。我仔细想了想他的话，也不全然是错的。真正的爱情是应该为对方付出，而不计回报。只要他开心，你就会开心不是吗？但我做不到那样，也许在这一方面我会比较自私。我不能忍受对方不理睬我那种感觉。昨天当我一封一封的删除你的信息的时候，我的心里真得很痛，就好像一点一滴的删除着我们之间的回忆，但是短痛总好过长痛吧。。。。。。。。

life

no matter you are happy or not happy, life is still going on~
so be happy... then it is only worth...
because happy or not happy the day still have to pass ~
trying to understand it...and work it out~!! Jia You !